Mulletized!

It should have been an ugly morning. Cape Town is cold and dripping out of its seams. Late for work as usual and traffic slow and bubbling.

But my seat was comfortable, and as much as I squinted my eyes I couldnt help but see the magic everywhere, in everything. The steering wheel felt like a part of me, and the steering wheel felt like a part of everything. Dark clouds rumbling with energy in the distance could have been the coffee swirling in my stomach.

Thoughts are only limited to smirks at how simple it all is. Simple, and insanely beautiful.

Had this Amos Lee song on repeat. Playing it over and over for when he says “we all got the same bloodflow”.

“The people on the street, out on buses or on feet, we all got the same bloodflow.
Oh and society, every dollar got a D, we all need a place where we can go, and feel over the rainbow. Sometimes we forget what we got, who we are, oh who we are now.”

Amos Lee - Keep it loose, keep it tight

Fantasy Premierleague for the 2008/09 season is open for business baby!

If you remotely follow the English Premier League, you have to signup. Its free, its alot of fun, and it might even make a Stoke vs Wigan scrap in the rain quite entising (ok I just oversold).

If anyone’s amped, just comment in this post once youve got your team, and join me in a private league.

Heres the link again: http://fantasy.premierleague.com/

I’m a secret scribbler.

I think it was about 2 years ago that you went into hospital for a little procedure. I waited outside your ward for an eternity.

I wrote this down while I was thinking of you in theatre:

Dance baby, you want to

Smile baby, you’re beautiful

Set the past ablaze complex little heart

Beatbox machine of rhythm only

The rhythms are simple

Theyre your own

Never imperfect

Thanks to my sneaky girlfriend just[b]coz, Ive got to come up with

7 interesting things about me…

Mmm…

1. I’m fast. Or at least I used to be. When i was in high school I used to be able to run the 100m at a brisk pace. I’m not sure now though, would probably cough up a lung at the 50m mark.

2. I’d like to say that people don’t intimidate me, but that’s probably unrealistic. But the truth is that I’m almost never intimidated by people, no matter who they are. That’s not to say I’m not respectful, just that when someone tries to be intimidating, my instinct is to either laugh, or be irritated me (depending on the situation).

3. I’m petrified of bees. While i have never been stung by one, I have a deathly premonition that an unstoppable allergic reaction would ensue, and that that might be the death of me (even though I don’t know for sure if I’m actually allergic)

4. I have strong intuition, and often feel something before its going to happen. Its a part of me that I’ve always shut down in the past because of the seduction of logic. I’m learning all the time how to listen to it more.

5. This ones a killer.  You guys are so lucky that I’m stupid enough to share it. When i was a baby and a little boy, my older sister Charlene used to dress me up in all sorts of girlie outfits, put me in a bamboo pram, and wheel me around the house pretending I was her baby. Oh yes, the name she gave me was “Rosie”.

6. I have a secret desire to do something physical and dramatic. To act, to play a character, to pretend.  I doubt that will ever happen. Casting calls for Egoli are closed i hear…

7. Im a peace loving rational anarchist.

I just realized there’s a big chance that any randoms landing on this blog may in fact be searching for something of the neckcape variety - Mullets baby!

And even though this isnt a blog about mullet harstyles per say, i feel the need to make everyone feel at home. So, kick back and revel in the follicular beauty of  6 kick ass celebrity mullets.
In the universe…EVER!

Cracking the nod at number 6, and setting this post ablaze out of the starting blocks, is the dashing Richard Dean Anderson of MacGyver fame. MacGyver was a huge hit, and I think his mullet had a big influence. When Richie went for the crop, he moved onto that Stargate crap. I reckon if he’d kept the mullet, Stargate would have magically become brilliant and now be regarded as a “best series” in its time.  I just had a revelation: Samson must have had a mullet. Definitely!

No 5. Bouncing manhair universe on a tennis court, and the only sports star on this list, Andre Agassi. Agassi was a legend when he was anti-conformist and colourful and shit. Undoubtedly he’s one of the most naturally talented players that i have witnessed. He was awesome to watch too - flamboyant and unpredictable. Then i don’t know what happened. He shaved the receding mullet (he should have embraced the eventual skullet), and became Moby. What a shame.

No 4. Oh Michael Bolton. Oh Michael Bolton. You are a sexy beast to all woman and men over 50 and 150kg.

No 4. Billy Ray Cyrus: Your music has undoubtedly been played as background to many an incestuous union in the deep South. Congratulations.

No 2. Our very own local mullet, Vernon Koekemoer. Damn he’s sexy. Some guys just have it all.

No 1. JESUS! I bet you didn’t know that Jesus had a mullet. He did. And he rightly takes no 1 spot.

I love sports. Always have. What really interests me though, is how many experts there are. Everyones an expert.

A follower of a sport or sports team generally has amazing confidence in the expression of their thoughts and opinions.  After a big sports game, people will have no hesitation in thrashing about criticism, commentary and praise on coaches, players, and tactical decisions.  There KNOW how they should go about their next game, how things went wrong, how things worked, how to improve, what to avoid etc.

I’m one of those people. Ask me about any game or sporting event, and ill have an intricate opinion. What really amazes me though, is that this innate confidence of being an expert isn’t translated to other areas of mass consciousness.

No one really takes Naas Botha’s opinion on the latest rugga game that seriously. I mean come on! Even though he’s the ‘expert’, we all feel that we can make up our own minds. We listen, then have our own thoughts. He aren’t passive.

But…

We don’t seem to do that in other areas of our lives. We always let ‘experts’ make decisions for us. We sit back and let other people think for us:

• We go to the doctor and don’t even look at the script he’s written
• We put the blinkers on when politicians make atrocious decisions on our behalf
• the list can go on…

The only reason we do this is because we’ve been indoctrinated into believing that we’re not worthy of thinking for ourselves in the spheres that directly concern us - that certain things are beyond our capacity. Why when there’s something of direct consequence or pivotal importance, do we think we are not capable of making our own decisions?

I think that the grasping and thinking for yourself in all areas is no more out of our reach than talking about the Stormer’s last match over a beer.

To quote Kerouac, “You’re a genius all the time.”

Stand up, start a riot, be an expert.

This is my virgin post. I really should be gentle.

I’ve had this thought rattling around my head: Drunk Saints.

It may seem strange, but I wondered if it was possible.

Is it possible for a white light person to be a drunk, or have any major vice for that matter?

So i Googled  St Francis of Assisi. A legend if ever there was one, he’s the patron saint of animals and the natural environment.  An amazing dude. All testaments to his elegant existence only illuminate a life of complete saintliness. I couldn’t find any accounts of him guzzling wine by the gallon-loads or sniffing on fermented leeks.

Maybe there are some known renegade mullet saints out there. Crazy mad fools who howled at the moon at night and performing miracles during the day, but that doesn’t seem important now.  The reason why this idea kept me rattling was because of my crazy logic.

If a holy blessed saint could be a drunk; then a drunk could be a saint.

I once heard a Zen saying that’s always stuck with me. I cant remember the exact wording, but i interpreted it as:

Always be kind and patient to every single person that crosses your path.
That person will always know something that you don’t.

I love this. I heard it when i was a teenager, and i think its awesome. its since been something Ive always tried to live by.

One interpretation of this could be that you can always learn or gain something from every person (or experience) that you encounter. That’s cool on its own, but i also like to think of it as the idea that nothing should be judged, appearances are false:

Just think of that bergie at the traffic lights, trying to wash your windscreen with his phlegm and a pee-stained 1989 Manchester United beanie. He may not be who you think he is.

He may be a saint.